Boudoir Photography: for Empowerment and Self Confidence
As a San Diego boudoir photographer, I’ve seen and heard it all. From the mom who wants to get back in touch with her body after her third kid to the 4X woman who’s been told her whole life she should be ashamed to live inside her own skin.
Of the dozens of women that have posed on the silks in my studio or turned their face to the water pouring from the tropical shower, not a single one has come to me to feel like a sex object. Women get boudoir photos for many reasons, but when it comes down to it, they do it for themselves.
The Messages Society Sends Women
From the day we are born, women are told we exist for someone else. From Daddy’s little girl to the good wife and all the messaging in between. Our parents still give us away at our weddings as if we belong to them until the day we are transferred to our spouse.
Out in the world, our worth continues to be measured by our waistlines and bra sizes. If we’ve been “good enough” to indulge in dessert. We’re measured on having both a successful career while being the kind of mom that practices gentle parenting but is also firm. We are even judged by the behavior of our children. We watch in fear as our bodies and lives become second to a ball of cells, to literally everything and everyone else. What is left for us?
Boudoir Photography is Feminism in Action
When clients walk into my studio, I can sense their nervous excitement, their shyness—even the most confident ones. We’ve been taught not to be outwardly attractive or sexy, but we better be attractive enough to win a good partner. It’s confusing AF. Of course, women will be shy when they walk into the studio. They don’t know whether to be sexy or modest or both at the same time. They’re asking themselves why they’re even doing this crazy thing in the first place.
Then something magical happens. It starts kind of chilly, and then finally, a tiny spark, and before I know it, my studio is ablaze. YES, QUEEN!!! My camera and I are bonded in awe of the woman in front of us. She has arrived.
My clients leave their boudoir photo shoot feeling like a totally new person. But they are absolutely not a new person. Their power was released. A power that they were born with. Boudoir breathes air into the part of a woman’s soul that has been minimized and even broken by society. She feels a brand new space and confidence to be her whole, authentic self. And that has nothing to do with sex.
My clients also leave their boudoir sessions hungry. Really hungry. There’s something about finding yourself in boudoir that invites further nourishment.
Sharing Boudoir Photos
One of the best parts of being a boudoir photographer is showing clients their images. The gasps, squeals, and overwhelmed silence. Some people cry. They’ve never seen their power before.
There is nothing like watching a woman look through her gorgeous photo album, her fingers running over the thick edges and glossy prints in awe of herself. Some women immediately order framed pictures to hang in their closet. They want to see themselves in their power every single morning and every single night.
Sometimes partners, friends, and family members are stunned by the confidence that is unleashed, and share in the joy of their loved ones renewed sense of self. Damn, that is empowering.
Unfortunately, sometimes there are those who try to shame women for having a boudoir photo shoot. Well I have something to say to them…how dare you? How dare you shame a woman for taking a step towards loving her body? Towards seeing herself as sexy? How dare you try to take away her power the minute she gets it back? Be a better person, because she deserves better.
The Lasting Effects of Boudoir Photography
I think of boudoir photography like kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken objects with gold. Boudoir allows women to heal themselves, embrace themselves, to feel empowered. They see themselves through my camera, through the film. They see themselves in their full glory, imperfect, cracks and all. You’re damn right they feel sexy. But it’s not about sex. When they look at their images, when they look at themselves, what they see is gold.
